How to Support Someone Who’s Grieving:
A Practical Guide

When someone we care about is grieving, it’s natural to want to support them—but it’s just as common to feel unsure of what to do or say. We might hesitate, afraid of saying the wrong thing, or worry that bringing up the loss will make things worse. Sometimes, that uncertainty keeps us silent. Unfortunately, silence can feel like abandonment to someone who is grieving.

Here are eight meaningful ways to offer genuine support during someone’s time of loss.

Our instinct may be to ask, “What can I do to help?” But often, the most powerful gift you can offer isn’t action—it’s presence. People in grief may not have the clarity to identify what they need or the energy to respond to open-ended offers like “Let me know if you need anything.”

Instead, take initiative: make a phone call, drop off a meal, or simply sit with them. You don’t need the perfect words. Just being there—quietly, sincerely—is often what they’ll remember most.

Grief needs a voice. One of the most valuable things you can do is to listen—really listen—as someone talks through their pain. People need to tell their story, often more than once. Encourage this.

Ask gentle, open-ended questions:

• “Can you tell me what happened?”

• “What was he or she like?”

• “How are you coping these days?”

You don’t need to offer solutions. What matters most is that the grieving person feels heard, not hurried or judged. Let them repeat themselves. That’s part of the healing process.

Grief doesn’t follow a predictable path. Emotions can range widely—from numbness and disbelief to anger, guilt, sadness, fatigue, or even temporary moments of joy. These feelings can come in waves and often feel confusing or contradictory.

Let your grieving friend know that all of it is normal. They aren’t “losing it”—they’re experiencing a deeply human response to loss. By validating their emotions, you help create space for them to process things safely.

One of the most common missteps is saying, “I know how you feel.” While well-intentioned, this phrase can unintentionally minimize the uniqueness of someone’s loss. Every relationship is different. Every grief journey is personal.

Instead, say things like:

• “I can’t imagine what this feels like for you.”

• “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

• “It’s okay to feel exactly how you feel.”

Grievers often need permission to express themselves authentically. That could mean crying, being angry, sitting silently, or sharing memories. Let them know they don’t have to “hold it together” around you.

Grief can come with strong emotions, including anger—sometimes directed at the people trying to help. It’s rarely personal. When someone lashes out, it’s often frustration with a situation they can’t control. They’re grieving what they’ve lost and what can’t be fixed.

Try to meet these reactions with patience and grace. Being a safe person for someone in pain means understanding that their emotions aren’t always tidy. Let them know you’re not walking away just because things got hard.

Grief is heavy, but hope still matters. Without trying to rush the healing process or dismiss the pain, you can remind someone that life won’t always feel as raw as it does now.

Support groups can help by showing that others have faced deep loss and found meaning again. Reassure your friend that it’s okay to grieve—but also okay to believe that joy and peace can return in time.

Hope isn’t about pushing someone forward. It’s about holding a light when things feel dark.

Grief has no timeline. Some people feel functional again after a few months; for others, it takes years. What matters is that the person moves through the process at a pace that’s right for them.

Avoid saying things like “Shouldn’t you be over this by now?” Instead, check in periodically—not just right after the loss, but months later, too. Continue to be available, even when the world around them seems to have moved on.

You can’t fix grief—and you’re not supposed to. Your role isn’t to offer answers or solve anything. It’s simply to be present and trustworthy while someone else finds their way forward.

Sometimes, that looks like listening quietly. Sometimes, it’s sitting beside them while they cry. At other times, it’s just letting them know they’re not alone.

Being there—consistently and compassionately—can make a world of difference. When someone looks back on their hardest days, they may not remember what you said. But they’ll always remember that you stayed.

Helping someone through grief isn’t about having the right words—it’s about showing up, holding space, and offering steady, patient care. You may not be able to take their pain away, but you can help them feel seen, understood, and less alone.

And that, more than anything else, is what they’ll never forget.